Nightmares; Mommy needs a hug
We have had a few experiences with Molly waking up extremely early and upset, we assume it to be a nightmare. I have no idea how I will go about explaining that what happens in your dreams and nightmares are not often reality. We will cross that bridge when we get there. Meanwhile, I am a basket case. I have at least one nightmare a month. I am not talking about the crazy ax murderer chasing me, I have the mommy nightmares. These are much worse.
The night I wrote the Mason turns four post I had a nightmare that woke me up soaked in tears and screaming. Now as a psychology major and someone who has received many therapy sessions; got to keep a strong mind, I have pieced together why I dreamt such a vivid horrific nightmare. I have never wrote about an episode in my head so please forgive me if it does not make sense. This is how it played out.
I am tossing and turning, cannot sleep. It is a few hours before dawn. I am on my facebook site complaining I cannot sleep. The kids bus driver is on as well. We decided that I should ride with her into town to pick up the school bus (now this is odd because the school bus depot is about a mile away.) I agree to have the kids ready. We will ride in her truck to the bus barn and then ride the bus into town where she will drop me off at home before picking up the rest of the kids. Her husband decides to drive us and about half way there we are stopped. Mason was somehow placed in the bed of the truck. He is being taken into child protective custody by the fire department for three months. I am screaming and crying begging for a second chance. I am explaining that he is autistic and has certain words and phrases that mean certain things that he is in school and he needs me. As a last-ditch effort I hug my baby close to my chest and roll into a ball on the ground so that he cannot be grabbed by the firemen pleading through my tears.
I wake up.
My first thought is run in the room, grab Mason and have Matt duct tape him to me for the remainder of the day, but that probably is considered abuse so I refrain. If I cannot keep myself calm after such a nightmare how will I ever calm the kids down after theirs? Furthermore, why does God torment us poor Mothers? As if we are not stressed enough day-to-day and struggle to turn our minds off to sleep he adds Mommy nightmares on us. How rude.
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September 16, 2013 Monday at 5:51 pm